Product: Master Blasters
Manufacturer: Roundup:
Wired Rating: 0
Share your playlist. Loudly. A new era of boom boxes is upon us, and they’ll have you jamming like it’s 1989.
1. Altec Lansing MIX
With easy-to-grasp handles and ridiculously powerful bass, the MIX was our choice for the new-millennium remake of Say Anything. Throw in eight D batteries and the MIX can travel with you to your neighbor’s house party or your crush’s window. A high-contrast digital display scrolls song titles and artist names—making it easy to send a message to that special someone.
WIRED Two auxiliary inputs and a designated dock let you connect three devices at once for the Longest. Playlist. Ever. Front handles for easy military-pressing.
TIRED Not beachworthy; too many nooks and crannies to catch the sand. A bit deep for shoulder wielding or shallow shelving.
$300, alteclansing.com
2. Lasonic i931 iPod Ghetto Blaster
Oh, nostalgia. Lasonic’s aptly named Ghetto Blaster would be at home on the shoulder of someone wearing Skidz and blasting Kool Moe Dee. This gigantic relic of a bygone era even has a faux tape deck that conceals an iPod dock. But though your jams might be rocking, the sound will disappoint. Chalk it up to true 1980s fidelity—audio quality and all.
WIRED Quite the head-turner. Preprogrammed sound settings for different types of music means it’s time to bus’ out the Mozart, yo!
TIRED Tape deck dock doesn’t support iPhone or iPod touch, and it’s hard to get your ‘Pod situated. Ten D batteries?! Only spacecraft should need that much power.
$139, lasonicstore.com
3. DeWalt DC012
Power tools and crashing metal can’t silence the DC012. Neither can short drops, rain, spilled coffee, sawdust, or other job-site hazards. Volume is not an issue, but clarity is: This rugged sound blaster is as sturdy as Andrè9 the Giant, and cranked up to the limit, it might level a city block. Too bad the sound quality is lacking.
WIRED Power cord stows on a bottomside spool. Also works as a charger for DeWalt power tool batteries. Three outlets on the side—this is the rockinest powerstrip ever. Weatherized construction makes this our beach blaster of choice.
TIRED A little bulky and awkward for residential use. Charges your drill but not your iPhone. Runs on proprietary batteries only.
$170, dewalt.com
4. Memorex miniMove
A boom box shaped like a purse? Of course! As long as you’re comfortable in your masculinity, the easy-to-tote design does make the miniMove ideal for traveling and picnics. And once you get to your destination, you can stash this girlie embarrassment in the shade and control your tunes with the included remote. But don’t stray too far—this mini can’t get as loud as its larger competitors, and sound suffers at higher volumes anyway.
WIRED Available in six colors, and fortunately, one of them is black. Squishy buttons are fun to push. Fifty bones = bargain alert.
TIRED Tiny speakers produce tinny sound. Radio antenna sticks out awkwardly from the side.
$50, memorex.com