I have a problem where I’m trying to generate insults, or just use this as the base for a game and other projects, but when I hit the generate insult button, it doesn’t do anything.
<!DOCTYPE html>
<html lang="en">
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0">
<title>The Unfiltered Insult Generator</title>
<style>
fieldset {
margin-bottom: 1em;
}
legend {
font-weight: bold;
}
.language-select {
display: inline-block;
}
.language-select ol {
list-style-type: none;
padding: 1;
}
.language-select label {
display: block;
}
.language-select input[type="checkbox"] {
margin-right: 0.5em;
}
.language-select input[type="text"] {
margin-top: 1em;
}
.srOnly {
position: absolute;
width: 1px;
height: 1px;
padding: 0;
margin: -1px;
overflow: hidden;
clip: rect(0,0,0,0);
border: 0;
}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<script>
function getRandom() {
return Math.floor(Math.random() * 100);
}
function generateInsult() {
let name = document.getElementById('name').value;
let num = getRandom();
let insult;
if (num === 99) {
insult = name + " is a lucky ducky! 99, dam!";
id99
} else if (num === 98) {
insult = name + " was so close to success. But I guess you're just a failure in life.";
id98
} else if (num === 97) {
insult = name + " is kinda stupid.";
id97
} else if (num === 96) {
insult ="Hey" + name + "turn it upside down.";
id96
} else if (num === 95) {
insult = num + " is literally the most boring number you could have gotten. Go try again.";
id95
} else if (num === 94) {
insult = "Hey " + name + ", Can I have the name of your hair salon? I need to know where not to go.";
id94
} else if (num === 93) {
insult = name + ", You are the human equivalent of a participation trophy.";
id93
} else if (num === 92) {
insult = name + ", you have a face for radio.";
id92
} else if (num === 91) {
insult = name + ", whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.";
id91
} else if (num === 90) {
insult = name + ", I smell something burning. Are you trying to think again?";
id90
} else if (num === 89) {
insult = name + ", you’re like a lighthouse in a desert: bright but not very useful.";
id89
} else if (num === 88) {
insult = name + ", you’re as useless as the “ueue” in “queue!";
id88
} else if (num === 87) {
insult = name + ", whatever is eating you must be suffering terribly.";
id87
} else if (num === 86) {
insult = name + ", if you ever had a thought, it would die of loneliness.";
id86
} else if (num === 85) {
insult = name + ", this is why the gene pool needs a lifeguard.";
id85
} else if (num === 84) {
insult = name + ", you have the charisma of a wet sock.";
id84
} else if (num === 83) {
insult = name + ", I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out nicely.";
id83
} else if (num === 82) {
insult = name + ", I’ve seen salad that dresses better than you.";
id82
} else if (num === 81) {
insult = name + ", You have the communication skills of an alarm clock.";
id81
} else if (num === 80) {
insult = name + ", honestly, I'm just impressed you could read this.";
id80
} else if (num === 79) {
insult = name + ", no I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you.";
id79
} else if (num === 78){
insult = name + ", your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.";
id78
} else if (num === 77){
insult = name + ", the only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.";
id77
} else if (num === 76) {
insult = name + ", my psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.";
id76
} else if (num === 75) {
insult = name + ", you must have been born on a highway because that's where most accidents happen.";
id75
} else if (num === 74) {
insult = name + ", brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing.";
id74
} else if (num === 73) {
insult = name + ", some babies were dropped on their heads but you were clearly thrown at a wall.";
id73
} else if (num === 72) {
insult = name + ", you can walk, but can you talk?";
id72
} else if (num === 71) {
insult = name + ", I'd slap you, but that would be animal abuse.";
id71
} else if (num === 70) {
insult = name + ", stop trying to be a smart ass, you're just an ass.";
id70
} else if (num === 69) {
insult = "Damn, you just got the best number!";
id69
} else if (num === 68) {
insult = "One off, get better at life.";
id68
} else if (num === 67) {
insult = "Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate nine!";
id67
} else if (num === 66) {
insult = name + ", why don't you slip into something more comfortable... like a coma.";
id66
} else if (num === 65) {
insult = name + ", you get ten times more girls than me? ten times zero is zero...";
id65
} else if (num === 64) {
insult = name + ", You're so fat, you could sell shade."
id64
} else if (num === 63) {
insult = name + ", have you been shopping lately? They're selling lives, you should go get one.";
id63
} else if (num === 62) {
insult = name + ", I don't think you understand the concept of 'no eating'.";
id62
} else if (num === 61) {
insult = name + ", that's one small step for me, and a massive one for you.";
id61
} else if (num === 60) {
insult = name + ", I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.";
id60
} else if (num === 59) {
insult = name + ", every time I'm next to you, I get a fierce desire to be alone.";
id59
} else if (num === 58) {
insult = name + ", why do you always wear black? Do you like looking like a clown?";
id58
} else if (num === 57) {
insult = name + ", you're so dumb that you got hit by a parked car.";
id57
} else if (num === 56) {
insult = name + ", how did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?";
id56
} else if (num === 55) {
insult = name + ", I didn’t ask for your opinion.";
id55
} else if (num === 54) {
insult = name + ", pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.";
id54
} else if (num === 53) {
insult = name + ", don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull";
id53
} else if (num === 52) {
insult = name + ", as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?";
id52
} else if (num === 51) {
insult = name + ", I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you.";
id51
} else if (num === 50) {
insult = name + ", I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong.";
id50
} else if (num === 49) {
insult = name + ", you're so dense, light bends around you.";
id49
} else if (num === 48) {
insult = name + ", you're as useful as a waterproof teabag.";
id48
} else if (num === 47) {
insult = name + ", you're so clumsy, you could trip over a wireless network.";
id47
} else if (num === 46) {
insult = ", you're so slow, you make sloths look like Olympic sprinters.";
id46
} else if (num === 45) {
insult = name + ", you're not completely useless; you can always serve as a bad example.";
id45
} else if (num === 44) {
insult = name + ", you're so gullible, I could sell you air and you'd buy it.";
id44
} else if (num === 43) {
insult = name + ", your family tree must be a cactus, because everyone on it is a prick.";
id43
} else if (num === 42) {
insult = name + ", you're not just a clown; you're the entire circus.";
id42
} else if (num === 41) {
insult = name + ", your agility is comparable to a turtle on a trampoline.";
id41
} else if (num === 40) {
insult = name + ", you have the problem-solving skills of a confused penguin in a desert";
id40
} else if (num === 39) {
insult = name + ", you look like you were drawn with my left hand";
id39
} else if (num === 38) {
insult = name + ", I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat."
id38
} else if (num === 37) {
insult = name + ", what do you think of that, Mr. Pajama-Wearing, Basket-Face, Slipper-Wielding, Clipe-Dreep-Bauchle, Gether-Uping-Blate-Maw, Bleathering, Gomeril, Jessie, Oaf-Looking, Stauner, Nyaff, Plookie, Shan, Milk-Drinking, Soy-Faced Shilpit, Mim-Moothed, Sniveling, Worm-Eyed, Hotten-Blaugh, Vile-Stoochie, Callie-Breek-Tattie?";
id37
} else if (num === 36) {
insult = "Your mother was a broken down tub of junk with more gentlemen callers than the operator.";
id36
} else if (num === 35) {
insult = "White people are just untitled word documents.";
id35
} else if (num === 34) {
insult = "Mirrors can't talk. Lucky for you, they can't laugh either.";
id34
} else if (num === 33) {
insult = "Only 1 in 100 people get this on their first try. You aren't lucky. You're just the hundreth person.";
id33
} else if (num === 32) {
insult = "I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.";
id32
} else if (num === 31) {
insult = "Here are the first hundred digits of pi! You're welcome: 3.1415926535 8979323846 2643383279 5028841971 6939937510 5820974944 5923078164 0628620899 8628034825 3421170679";
id31
} else if (num === 30) {
insult = "Honestly, does " + name + " even appreciate my work?";
id30
} else if (num === 29) {
insult = "The number 29 is fine. But are you?";
id29
} else if (num === 28) {
insult = "Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today?";
id28
} else if (num === 27) {
insult = name + ", I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.";
id27
} else if (num === 26) {
insult = name +", somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. You owe it an apology.";
id26
} else if (num === 25) {
insult = name + ", you just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.";
id25
} else if (num === 24) {
insult = name + ", if I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.";
id24
} else if (num === 23) {
insult = name + ", if I wanted to kill myself, I would climb to your ego and jump to your IQ.";
id23
} else if (num === 22) {
insult = "Phew, I'm getting tired of typing all those insults. Why don't you help me out a little, and tell me your personality so that I can make more.";
id22
} else if (num === 21) {
insult = name + ", don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.";
id21
} else if (num === 20) {
insult = name + ", you are proof that evolution can go in reverse.";
id20
} else if (num === 19) {
insult = name + ", Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?";
id19
} else if (num === 18) {
insult = name + ", if I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.";
id18
} else if (num === 17) {
insult = "People clap when they see you. They clap their hands over their eyes.";
id17
} else if (num === 16) {
insult = name + ", I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you.";
id16
} else if (num === 15) {
insult = "I find the fact that you’ve lived this long both surprising and disappointing.";
id15
} else if (num === 14) {
insult = "You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste.";
id14
} else if (num === 13) {
insult = "If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, I’d turn back around.";
id13
} else if (num === 12) {
insult = "I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.";
id12
} else if (num === 11) {
insult = "You see that door? I want you on the other side of it.";
id11
} else if (num === 10) {
insult = "Final 10, I can see the light. Oh wait, you're on the other side. Back we go!";
id10
} else if (num === 9) {
insult = "You look like a person in their 80's, but you act like someone who's 9.";
id9
} else if (num === 8) {
insult = "If I had a dollar for everytime you said something smart I would be broke.";
id8
} else if (num === 7) {
insult = name + ", may both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.";
id7
} else if (num === 6) {
insult = "This is the most useless number you could have gotten.";
id6
} else if (num <= 5) {
insult = "You had a 5% chance to get this number. Good job!";
id5_1
} else {
return insult;
}
}
</script>
<h1><script>generateInsult(<!----->Insert Name Here</!------>)</script></h1>
</body>
</html>
I tried multiple different ways, like using getElementId, but it wouldn’t work. I was expecting a header to appear when I push generate insult, but nothing happens. (btw you can use these insults if you want)