Small Code Or Script Needed To Perform Simple Task

I need a script or code that will take a jpeg that has just been saved and match the jpegs size to a predetermined output value.

example:

jpeg is 1kb in size, when it is saved by the website user the code will display a message on the main page of the site where the user just saved the jpeg
if the jpeg is 2kb in size thee will be a different message displayed

lets say I have 300 or so different responses
1.great
2.wonderful
3.perfect!
4.superb
etc etc

a jpeg that is 1kb in size will generate the text great
a jpeg that is 2kb in size will generate the text wonderful.

etc etc.

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