Rave ‘Reviews’ For North Korean Gulags On Google Maps

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It’s no secret that the Internet has a hard time taking things seriously. “Best. Gulag. Ever.’, raved Google user, C. Quinn, about Yodok North Korean prison. Google Chairman Eric Schmidt probably expected his recent high-profile visit to the isolated dictatorship to have a more sobering impact on online discourse. But, after Google asked users to help identify important roads and landmarks for the newly mapped country, it should have expected that the Internet would act like, well, the Internet. We’ve collected the most, er, thoughtful, reviews below of North Korea’s prisons.

  • “Fearless Leader has taught me the error of my ways!” – Nick Webster, Excellent Review for Chongjin Gulag
  • “I have to say, this is one killer place! Very great if you want to loose weight, and not spend any money! Just ask previous visitors! Everything is free, including food and shelter. Best place to take your family!” – Sunny Wu, Excellent review for Yodok
  • “A hidden gem situated in the mountains of North Korea, you’ll be enthralled by the view, but don’t be tempted to spend all day reflecting on the natural beauty, as you will have so many activities to do during the day you won’t know where to start!…Enrolling is as simple as speaking your mind, and the breathtaking sights will put a bounce in your trudge, because at the Hwasong California, you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave. So come say hi, and pack for a while because you can’t see it all in one day!” – Blair Skrupski, Excellent review, Hwasong Gulag

But, not everyone received 5-star treatment:

  • “Room service didn’t speak English.” – William Trevarrow, Poor to fair review for Chongjin Gulag/li>
  • “Strictly for the check-point enthusiasts. If cavity searches and getting close to angry people with guns isn’t your cup of tea avoid this attraction and continue to Hwasong Gulag.” – Chloe G, Poor to fair review, Gulag 16 Checkpoint
  • “The Eggs Benedict weren’t runny enough. and enough with the bread already. sheesh. bababooey, bababooey, howard stern rules.” Good review, Chongjin Gulag

Of course, this isn’t the first time the Internet has made comedy out of democracy. Earlier this month, the White House was forced to explain why it would not build a Death Star. Obama “does not support blowing up planets,” explained the White House.

You can check out more reviews at maps.google.com by searching “North Korea gulag”.

TC Cribs: Inside Romotive, The Las Vegas Startup Where A New Generation Of Robots Is Being Born

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It’s time for another episode of Cribs, the TechCrunch TV series that takes you behind the gates of some of the tech industry’s hottest companies to see the factory floors where your tastiest app and gadget sausage is made.

It’s great to go beyond TechCrunch’s San Francisco headquarters to check out Cribs in other locales — and our latest sojourn was particularly worth it. Earlier this month we were in Las Vegas for the Consumer Electronics Show, and while we were in town we headed over to the Ogden Building, which is the home of a number of startups — including smartphone-controlled robot maker Romotive.

Romotive is one of the most buzzed-about companies in the quickly growing Downtown Vegas tech scene, so it was great to have co-founder and CEO Keller Rinaudo give us a tour of his company’s digs and give us a hands-on look at the “Romo” robot. While the Romotive team has built hundreds of Romos themselves right there in its Sin City headquarters, the company just recently signed a production contract with an Asian manufacturer that will help the company scale up its output dramatically. That means that Romos will now be poised to enter the homes (and hearts) of millions of people across the globe.

That idea might sound a bit scary at first, but I think after seeing the gadgets in action you will soon welcome our new Romo robot overlords with open arms. Who can resist those big blinking eyes?

A big tip of the hat to Steve Long, John Murillo, and Ashley Pagán for their camerawork; Ashley Pagán for her editing wizardry, and Felicia Williams for organizing the shoot.

On An International Buying Campaign, Cisco Acquires Cyber Threat Protection Startup Cognitive Security

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Today, it seems that Cisco’s international buying spree continues. acquisition of Israeli mobile startup, Intucell, for $475 million in cash last week, the company announced this afternoon that it is acquiring Czech network security startup, Cognitive Security. The terms of the acquisition were not made public.

In its announcement today, Cisco Head of Corporate Business Development Hilton Romanski said that it will be combining the startup’s realtime behavioral analytics with its own cloud-based global threat intelligence system to create a “common policy engine that controls distributed network enforcement in an intelligent network.” Essentially, the goal is to allow Cisco to provide corporations and the enterprise with the ability to better identify and mitigate advanced cyber threats.

The acquisition is yet another example of the fact that Cisco is looking to make moves. The company got in the buying mood back in November, when it acquired cloud infrastructure startup, Meraki, for $1.2 billion in cash. With its subsequent purchase of Intucell for nearly $500 million, the networking tech giant has invested nearly $1.7 billion in M&A over the last quarter. And, while Cisco is well-positioned compared to its networking rivals like Alcatel-Lucent and Juniper, the space is going through a big change these days, and Cisco is trying to make the necessary preparations given the diverse nature of its investments.

That led to the company’s exit from the consumer space last week, in which it sold its home networking business unit to Belkin, including the Linksys brand and products. The sale of Linksys, one of its largest consumer properties, followed its shuttering of its Flip video product line — another of Cisco’s well-known consumer brands — as the line began to suffer from the growing competition from smartphone cameras.

At the time, Cisco CEO John Chambers said (via TNW) that the company was re-focusing on its four key business priorities, “core routing, switching and services, collaboration, architecture and video. Cisco’s acquisition of Meraki and Intucell both fall into the architecture and infrastructure camp (for both enterprise WiFi and mobile), however, its purchase of Cognitive Security shows that the company is continuing to reach into related sectors to protect its market-leading position.

As Romanski details in the company’s announcement, since its founding back in 2010, Cognitive Security has been focused on network security research and “applying artificial intelligence techniques to detect advanced cyber threats.” The company, which now has 28 employees, set out to identify and analyze IT security threats through “advanced behavioral analysis of realtime data,” enabling businesses to more quickly and efficiently detect security anomalies.

As mobility and cloud computing change the security landscape, traditional approaches are no longer sufficient to protect businesses amidst the evolution in cyber threats. Through its acquisition of the Czech security startup, Cisco will be able provide its enterprise customers with a brand of advanced security that their networks require today.

Cisco also said that it will continue the long-standing collaboration Cognitive Security has with the Czech Technical University through its joint research program, saying that it “plans to continue to expand on this relationship going forward.”

As a result of the acquisition, the startup’s employees will be joining Cisco’s Security Technology Group, led by Senior Vice President Chris Young. The acquisition is expected to close in the third quarter of 2013 and is subject to approval by the company’s shareholders.

Find more in Cisco’s announcement here.

Amazon Misses: Q4 Sales Up 22 Percent To $21.3B, Net Income Down 45 Percent To $97M

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Amazon just reported lower-than-expected fourth-quarter earnings today. Net income decreased 45% to $97 million in the fourth quarter, or $0.21 per diluted share, compared with $177 million, or $0.38 per diluted share, in the fourth quarter 2011. Net sales increased 22% to $21.27 billion in the fourth quarter, compared with $17.43 billion in the fourth quarter 2011. Analysts expected earnings of $0.27 cents a share, on $22.26 billion in sales. The expectations of course are high because the fourth quarter includes the holiday shopping season.

“We’re now seeing the transition we’ve been expecting,” said Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon.com. “After five years, eBooks is a multi-billion-dollar category for us and growing fast – up approximately 70% last year. In contrast, our physical book sales experienced the lowest December growth rate in our 17 years as a bookseller, up just 5%. We’re excited and very grateful to our customers for their response to Kindle and our ever-expanding ecosystem and selection.”

Operating income increased 56% to $405 million in the fourth quarter, compared with $260 million in the fourth quarter 2011. The company currently has $8 billion in cash.

For the year, net sales increased 27% to $61.09 billion, compared with $48.08 billion in 2011. Operating income decreased 22% to $676 million, compared with $862 million in 2011. The company took a loss of $39 million in the year, or $0.09 per diluted share, compared with a net income of $631 million, or $1.37 per diluted share, in 2011.

Q4 for Amazon was eventful on the product, e-commerce and cloud fronts. The Kindle Paperwhite made its debut, and while the device was sold out for some time, Bezos admitted that these devices don’t make Amazon any profit. The company made a number enhancements to Cloud Drive and expanded content for its streaming service. Amazon’s EC2 service saw a number of outages in the quarter, as well.

For the holidays, Amazon said that this quarter brought its biggest holiday season ever with over 26.5 million items ordered worldwide on its peak day. Amazon’s tablet was the most popular item for customers, the company said in December. The Kindle Fire HD was the No. 1 best-selling, most gifted and most wished for product. In addition, Cyber Monday 2012 was the biggest day ever for Kindle says worldwide, Amazon added, and during the holidays, apps and game sales were up 250% year-over-year.

For the first quarter of 2013, net sales are expected to be between $15 billion and $16.6 billion, or to grow between 14% and 26% compared with the first quarter 2012. Operating income (loss) is expected to be between $285 million and $65 million, compared to $192 million in the prior year period.

We’ll listen to the earnings call and report back on what Bezos has to say about today’s earnings.

Ringadoc Raises $1.2M From Founders Fund’s FF Angel To Connect Doctors With Patients On-Demand

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Ringadoc has a pretty big vision: To be the “frontline of primary care,” to let anyone and everyone pay a flat fee to instantly talk to a real doctor at any hour of the day. In pursuit of perfecting on-demand medicine, the startup announced today that it has raised $1.2 million in seed financing, led by Founders Fund’s seed vehicle, FF Angel. The raise marks the close of the second half of its seed funding, following the $750K the startup announced last June from Founders Fund, bringing its total to just over $1.2 million.

Ringadoc Founder Jordan Michaels tells us that, initially, the company set out on a straightforward trajectory — providing on-demand service for people to reach a doctor at any time — however, they soon learned that this was something that doctors themselves wanted to give to their own patients. So, the Ringadoc team decided to build it. And, after an extended private beta trial, the team is launching Ringadoc Exchange this afternoon to let doctors triage their own calls from their iPhone or Android.

The new Exchange platform enables doctors to more easily follow up with their patients, removing the need to continue paying for an expensive operator-based answering service. According to Michaels, the service is free for three months and then costs $50/month thereafter. Eventually, Ringadoc wants to allow doctors to charge patients for the calls or take calls from outside their own patient pool as well, features that will be coming their way in the next quarter. Michaels says that they want to allow doctors to get paid for some calls they’re doing with their own patients and offer a “premium” level of service and availability to their existing patients for a fee.

The goal, while it may seem pedestrian, is an important one. Waiting in line at the doctor’s office, or waiting by the phone for your doctor to return a phone call about a diagnosis or an appointment, can be extremely frustrating. Ringadoc wants to give doctors the ability to respond more efficiently to their patients — whenever and however they want — in turn, ending the cycle of unreturned calls, and relieving pissed off patients and overworked staffers.

“Patients are always going to call doctors on their own schedule,” says Joshua Kreiss, a neurologist in Menlo Park, CA. “Ringadoc allows me to quickly triage and follow up as appropriate, giving me enhanced control of a very important part of my practice. It’s a win/win for me and the patients.”

Today, Ringadoc covers more than 500,000 patients in over 20 states in the U.S. through its platform — a number the team hopes to expand upon with its new round of seed financing. Traditionally, doctors have had to deal with 1970s-style technology to handle after-hours calls from patients. But the penetration of mobile technology has changed our everyday behavior to the point where we now expect the same ease of access and availability from our doctors. Ringadoc wants to prove to the medical community that adapting to this on-demand world can actually make their lives easier, rather than the alternative.

The app allows doctors to control and handle patient calls on their own schedule right from their smart phone, responding to patients directly rather than requiring them to go through an operator. The app, along with the platform itself, was built with the support of Practice Fusion — the well-funded startup which offers a free, web-based Electronic Medical Records system that includes charting, ePrescribing, billing, support and scheduling for doctors and patients. Practice Fusion founder and CEO Ryan Howard currently serves on the startup’s board of directors and was one of its first investors.

With its new funding in tow, Ringadoc plans to develop the ability for doctors to provide cross-coverage care and premium access to paying patients, while moving to uncover ways for medical practices to access alternative revenue streams.

The app is currently available on the App Store and Google Play. For more on Ringadoc, check out Josh’s in-depth coverage here.

Philips Bows Out Of Consumer Electronics Business

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Philips, a brand well known for their televisions and optical media devices, is leaving the consumer electronics market and is now focusing on medical equipment and lighting. The company sold its CE business to the Japanese manufacturer Funai Electric Co. for $201 million.

Like Cisco, Philips found the CE market fraught with peril. The 80-year-old Dutch company originally built radios but backed Betamax in the 1980s and continued selling televisions and optical disk players in a saturated market. With competitors coming from all sides, the most interesting thing Philips could produce was the Ambilight system for splashing color behind a television based on the video on the screen.

That was clearly not enough to survive as a CE maker.

“Since we have online entertainment, people do not buy Blu-ray and DVD players anymore,” said CEO Frans van Houten to the WSJ.

The company saw a loss of $483 million which was double the loss in Q1 2011.

CE is a slow-moving commodity now. Brand loyalty is dead and digital has made nearly every television the same. Philips’ decision to close up shop is a brave one and necessary. It will be interesting to see who else is taken up by the whirlwind of change coming to home CE.

Webdoc Dumps Confusing Name For Urturn, Adds Tools For Fans To Create Memes For Bands

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I always thought Webdoc was extremely poorly named. While the platform had been used by record labels for fan engagement and marketing, the name really did not work. Pretty much any fool could see this and it’s amazing how long the team there took to realize this. Webdoc screams: ‘Microsoft Word on the Web’. Or something. Anyway, I digress. It’s no surprise then that the startup has relaunched with the more digestible name Urturn and some improved product features. So far it’s still free, as clearly they are trying to build scale and monetize. This of this as a meme-generator for artists and bands which those lovely record labels can control.

Previously users could create collages with images, videos, text and audio, but Urturn has added to this other kinds of ‘expression templates,’ as it calls them, that allow you to, for instance, recreate a famous album cover and add other things such as an audio clip. In other words this is a platform to let the fans run wild and promote the music at the same time. In fact it goes quite far, allowing the use of HTML, CSS and even Javascript via an API, still in beta.

The result can be shared and embedded in web sites, along with a ‘Your Turn’ button that prompts people to create their own collages and remixes of music artwork and multimedia around an artist.

Bands like One Direction have used it with some success, and record labels Interscope Records, Polydor, Columbia and RCA have been signed up to apply it to artists such as One Republic, Mindless Behavior, 50 Cent, Ellie Goulding, The Saturdays, Alicia Keys, and Pink.

Facebook’s Categorial Imperative

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Facebook’s newest feature adds some much-needed relevance to the huge proportion of its data hoard that no user has seen or, if we’re honest, thought about, in days, weeks, or years. But Graph Search is ultimately nothing more than a handy sorting algorithm, and it’s indicative of the fact that really, Facebook doesn’t understand the first thing about us.

(As a quick excusatory aside, this doesn’t mean I think it’s useless, of course: The tool they’ve created will make it a snap to find that one picture of your friend on that camping trip in July of 2009 (or was it 2010)? And “Friends in Seattle who like Poker” is a great way to set up a card game. These problems, trifling though they may be, are solved. Also, a “sorting algorithm” is not in any way inherently bad, and many useful and powerful things can be described as such, so no slight intended there either.)

The idea struck me when they were demonstrating how to drill down in search: “Friends of friends in California who read Harry Potter, like mountain biking, and speak Spanish and English.” Leaving aside the questionable utility of such a finely-pointed query, it drove home the fact that Facebook’s conception of each of its users is an endless series of nested categories. Zuckerberg’s joke slide showing a galaxy of pull-down filter boxes was more revealing than they let on.

An individual, to Facebook, is the sum of their interactions with the site — can never be more. You are a collection of data, beginning as an empty vessel when you sign up, and gradually growing in complexity and depth. This much is self-evident.

Facebook has a categorial imperative: Its reason for being may be to provide a service, but its means for being is to systematize individuality.

—Let me unpack that.

The measure of a man

Everything you do on the social network contributes, in one way or the other, to your being categorized ever more specifically. The categories to which you belong may be obvious (male/female) or subtle (interpretation of “like”), and there are more or less depending on how much you interact with Facebook.

If I decline to explicitly state my political preferences (or it simply never occurs to me), I’ll be excluded from searches like “Friends who are Democrats.” Yet, surely it’s obvious from circumstantial evidence — my liking a story about Obama, my linking to a left-leaning charity — that I am one. Facebook may be able to calculate the likelihood of my voting on the left side of the spectrum, but its model is crude, correlative. And of course it doesn’t dare to suppose, for a number of reasons.

Certainly such a conclusion is obvious to you and me. We humans (let it be said without boasting) are the most finely-tuned detectors of social tendencies, and the most sophisticated engines for predicting behavior, that have ever developed or been developed.

And is it not the goal of a system like Facebook, which probably observes ten lifetimes worth of human behavior every day, to ape that behavior, so to speak? And may it not do so successfully?

I have my doubts. When you ask an engine of social knowledge for friends who like Indian food, and it returns all your friends who have liked the “Indian food” page or concept or whatever it is, that’s telling. Expecting it to do more would be a little crazy, since as I said, it’s just a sorting tool. What’s telling is not that there are limitations, but that you bump up against them instantly.

Knowing a person, and the pieces that make them, isn’t a hard thing to do, exactly. You know hundreds, probably thousands of people. There are extensive records in your head, going back years: pictures, words, smells, ideas, and all. But you — you incredible machine, you — have interpolated all of that information into a single idea, a wavefront informed by every word and look you’ve ever exchanged with someone. It’s one of the most sophisticated things humans do, one of the most effortless, and also one of the most inimitable.

I don’t mean to place the burden of totally simulating human social consciousness on Facebook. What I’m saying is that Facebook’s self-imposed limitations, as well as the limitations of a system to which all information is submitted voluntarily (as opposed to unconsciously), mean that all it can ever do is resurface information that you yourself decided not to internalize — probably for good reason.

Graph Search lets you find things you already had and, apparently, didn’t care enough about to record them yourself. You can’t ask it for friends who are free tonight, or friends who have suffered from depression, or friends who have good taste in books. You could make a better guess on these things — these searches that matter outside of Facebook, which is to say searches that matter.

Recall that the value we get out of Facebook is in the new things, not all the rest of the stuff. New things like friends’ photos and status updates, or news from the sites and brands we like. We dip our fingers into the river and the next day, when we return to the bank, where is the river in which we dipped our fingers? Facebook knows, and Facebook can tell you. Why? What use is a map of yesterday’s river?

Set theory

Certainly we asked for a way to track down that errant photo or acquaintance in the city you were visiting. And while what Facebook gave us addresses these needs, it irreversibly reveals how superficial is its understanding of people. People as categories. Nested categories. Demographics.

As others have no doubt already pointed out, Graph Search resembles the drill-down demographic targeting of modern advertising. Facebook already had a nice big bucket labeled “males age 18-35 who like Baseball and Apple.” Put “Friends who are” in front of it doesn’t automatically make it a social tool for ordinary people (though it can be put to use). Facebook’s fundamental system of defining people is not the way people define each other. It’s the way people are reduced to sets of high-priority characteristics — it’s profiling, for tracking, targeting, and marketing. Facebook thinks this way because this was the way it was built to think — this is its categorial nature and its categorial imperative.

A social network that operates on non-human principles can’t ever be anything but a ledger, crammed with cold observations. And while some may think that this sterile data can be tracked, shuffled, recombined, and interpreted, alchemically, turning the silt of the river into gold, I disagree.

What emerges from these kabbalistic manipulations is useful to advertisers, of course, and also (once they are allowed to get their hands on it properly) academics like sociologists (and they are both welcome to it, I say), but for individuals it will rarely amount to more than a momentary diversion, or a modicum of convenience — not that such things aren’t at a premium these days as well.

In other words, any value provided by Facebook over and above the service itself will be rooted in the mechanical reduction of human data, and useful primarily to those who think in categories rather than individuals. You know the type.

Facebook is an amazing service and tool, and deserves respect both as a trailblazer and as a bricklayer, putting down first the notion and then the fact of a world-spanning social network. But it’s also ready to be replaced with something just as ambitious but far more personal.

A social application that knows a person the way that person knows another is not a trivial advance. It does not exist now and likely will not for quite some time. Facebook is not it, nor is Google’s shadowy profiling of every passerby, nor any other community or group on the web or emerging today.

Yet if people are going to use computers and the Internet (by any other name) to connect with one another, then this is the destination. Perhaps it is the boundary, towards which progress bends asymptotically, but I think not. Computers don’t think the way we think, they don’t see how we see or remember how we remember. But these are largely technical hurdles, tall enough that they look like insurmountable barriers — so we spread out along them until some long-legged visionary shows us the way over. It’s happened a hundred times before, and it’s happening in another hundred ways right now. Wait for it — ask for it — or build it.

Backed Or Whacked: Smartphones That Light Up Your Life

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Editor’s note: Ross Rubin is principal analyst at Reticle Research and blogs at Techspressive. Each column will look at crowdfunded products that have either met or missed their funding goals. Follow him on Twitter @rossrubin.

Last week’s Backed or Whacked focused on devices that can remotely provide input to smartphones; this week, we venture beyond the bounds of simple information retrieval and toward illuminated products that can actually be controlled by one’s pocket companion, particularly in the home. (Note: Starting with this column, Indiegogo Flexible Funding campaigns that do not or are not on track to meet their funding goals will be considered “whacked.”)

Backed: PIXEL. A seven-pound framed, open-source 32-LED grid-equipped display that presents Android-slung images over a mirror finish, PIXEL is the kind of MakerShed fare tech art project that brings us back to Kickstarter’s roots. PIXEL transfers images from an Android phone by Bluetooth and includes a proximity feature for delivering a map detailing the whereabouts of Snow White to those who approach it. With about 40 days left to go in the campaign, Kickstarter backers have seen the founders’ big picture, smashing through tiers of early-adopter rewards to contribute more than $30,000, nearly four times the initial $8,000 funding goal. Those who seek Lite Brite-quality art for their walls can still get in on the first production run for $229, a modest discount from the final retail price.

Backed: iLumi. Those who have seen the future know that it is illuminated by light bulbs capable of emitting lots of trippy lighting schemes. Frankly, iLumi didn’t have to be a very good product and probably would have made its meager $1,000 funding goal. Indeed, at $15,303 raised with two weeks left to go, the campaign was a far cry from the more than a million dollars that last year’s Kickstarter phenom LIFX bagged in those dark days before Backed or Whacked. And even so, iLumi admitted this was its second time back at the till trying to get its multi-colored lighting source off the ground. Unlike LIFX, which is based on a hybrid of Wi-Fi and the Zigbee-friendly 802.15.4 mesh network, iLumi uses Bluetooth 4.0 to issue its spectrum-altering commands from your smartphone. Like the LIFX, it can sync your pulsing bulbs to a music track so you can be “Blinded by the Light” as you hear it.

Whacked: RoboSmart. Alas, iLumi’s time to shine stood in contrast to another Indiegogo project that closed in late January, the RoboSmart, which raised only $4,107 of its $65,000 goal. Part of that Bluetooth bulb’s challenge may have been a lower wattage equivalent (40 watt) versus iLumi’s brighter alternative (100 watt). On the other hand, RoboSmart includes a proximity sensor, a more practical capability in a smart light bulb than music sync. The RoboSmart team has taken its campaign video private but should hold its head high. After all, it will collect more funds from its Flexible Funding campaign than iLumi would have had it only met its (second) funding goal.

Whacked: Mauz. Billed as “one device to rule them all,” Mauz seeks “Tolkiens” of your affection to interact with a range of more sophisticated light-emitting devices, namely your PC and television. Affixing the little Mauz dongle to your iPhone turns it into a mouse that can be used with your Mac; rotate it 90 degrees and the surface becomes a multi-touch trackpad. But the real magic occurs when the iPhone leaves the surface where it can act as a gesture-driven motion controller. You can even leave it on your couch armrest and flip through content options by hovering and gesturing your hand over the phone.

It’s all slick stuff, but the team hasn’t shared much about what exactly is in Mauz that enables the functionality since many smartphones already contain the gyroscopes and Bluetooth to control other peripherals. Indeed, the over-device hand navigation gestures are powered by user interface company Nanocritical, which demos those features working with a Mauz-free iPad. This Mauz, which backers would receive for $45, is having trouble collecting its cheese, though. With about 40 days to go, the campaign has cleared only about 10 percent of its $150,000 funding goal.